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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?